Isi-Aki: September 2011

The swinging lifestyle... I've heard of the term a time or two. I have a vague idea of what it's all about. It's always hung in the peripheral part of my mind. These days nothing is as easy or straight forward as it was years ago. I'm usually very open - minded; one has to be in this 21st century world where a lot of things previously unacceptable have become norm with the backing of the Law too. I've learnt not to judge others and one of my mottos in life is 'Live and let live.'

But certain days I wonder... Love, relationship, marriage and family have become a little too dark and twisted as the inherent selfish and narcissistic nature of man shows itself a monster in this much treasured area of man’s life.

I sound disillusioned, don’t I? Well, I am – and a little flabbergasted. Maybe its the gamophobic in me... These stories have a way of finding me!

Over the last weekend I had drinks with a bunch of friends. Beautiful, hardworking, upwardly mobile career women. I enjoy hanging out with this group because we are all just silly, funny girls when we hang out and most of our evenings are spent with us doubled over in stitches at each others stories and jokes.

It had rained earlier so the evening was beautiful and cool. We chatted away happily. One of us was morose though. She is usually the liveliest of the group, extremely beautiful, and successful at her furniture and interior designing business. And yes – she was married… happily married. Her husband was incredibly gorgeous and as wealthy as Midas. He was from an affluent family in the North and had pedigree as well. He owned a group of companies, popular amongst them was the oil and gas company.

In our little group, she was our POC (Point of Contact) because she’s the only married one in our little circle. She had it all. The Croesus husband, the mansion, the cars and the 2.5 kids, the trips around the globe. Purrfect.

Matilda (not her real name) remained quiet, watching us moodily and drinking heavily all evening. Then she lit a cigarette. The alarm on our table went on red alert. Up until that point, we’d tried to cheer her up…unsuccessfully. I had put it down to a bad day at the office. We all have those kind of days.

But Nancy never EVER smoked!!

After one of us snatched the smouldering stick from her fingers and put it out, we demanded to know what was going on. It was apparent that a lot was cooking!

Well...She told us what was going on... And my head is still reeling in shock from the details.

Tilly has been married to her gorgeous husband for eight years and they have three adorable children. Their story is the typical love story. They met, fell madly in-love and it was only natural that the altar was the next step. He was anything that any woman could wish for. Loving, caring, passionate, attentive and extremely generous.

Shortly after their marriage, he bought a house for her parents in the city and knocked down their house in the village and built a mansion in its place. He took on the responsibility of paying the school fees of her four siblings and opened a supermarket for her mother. He placed her father who had retired from the civil service on a monthly salary and his bank account never failed to credit at the end of every month. He also bought him a brand new car and hired a driver.

Immediately after Tilly's Youth Service, he'd made her dreams come true by giving her a capital base worth hundreds of millions to begin a furniture and interior decorations business.

Infact the man was an angel... a Gift from God. That was what everyone said. Sometimes, Nancy felt they were right. She'd been incredibly happy.

He made the suggestion few months after she had the first baby.

Her loving, amazing husband of 18 months had just told her he wanted a menage-a-trois. He wanted her to watch her make love - to another woman. It had sounded like a joke at first. She had laughed, then became amazed, then angry. But the anger had faded into confusion when she realised he was dead serious. It was that or he found someone else who would accomodate his needs.

Nancy had been aghast! For weeks she'd tormented herself even as her loving husband became withdrawn and distant. He'd stopped eating her meals, their little acts of intimacy became non-existent and he began to look at her with disinterest.

After two weeks of that cold treatment, Nancy's love for her husband overcame all her doubts, questions and reservations. She'd given in - on the condition that she chose the women who came into their bed.
Her husband had been ecstatic! He promptly went out and bought her a brand new SUV, and expensive jewellry.

And so the menage-a-trois lifestyle started. His oil business took him all over the world and Tilly went with him. Wherever they went, they invited beautiful women into their matrimonial bed.

The story Tilly told was one that sent cold shivers down my spine. For a good part of their married life, having a third party in their bed was the norm. Sex just wasn't sex without the 'kink' in it. After these sessions, he would shower her with gifts - expensive trinkets, perfumes, trips overseas. Nothing she asked of him would be too great for him to grant her.

After a while, her earlier misgivings about making love to another woman while her husband watched had just evaporated. The standard routine was, they would go out, he would spot a sexy, beautiful woman he wanted, she would make the approach (she absolutely insisted on this, so that she could be sure the woman had no contact with her husband after the orgy), they would retire to some hotel (never the same one), indulge and the woman would be paid and sent off. To make sure the woman could never identify them, they used false names, at other times they volunteered no information about themseves.

While Tilly told her story, she had our rapt attention. We were spellbound. It was too much info, but we couldn't stop listening. Then she paused for a moment and we knew something else was coming. Something heavy and hard to swallow. She took a deep breath.

"He's become bored. He wants to watch me make love to another man."

Our jaws literarily dropped to the floor.

"What?!!" We chorused incredulously.

Then we heard Part II of the saga...

(To be continued.)

xx

Isi-Aki.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,

It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

-Maya Angelou