MY BIRTHDAY WISH LIST.

One of the things which gives me joy over the weekends is going to church on Sunday.

The excitement I feel can be likened to going on a date with a hot, handsome and charming man.

I spend hours on Saturday evening mixing and matching outfits, shoes, bags and scarves, doing a manicure or having a facial.
 Come Sunday, my BB status has been known to read, “Off to meet with my King.”

Really, Jehovah is King. He is Royalty. We all would love to be in our best and on our best behavior when meeting with an earthly king, how much more a Heavenly One.

Meeting with my King is only just one part of it. Imagine knowing that every-time you are in the King’s presence, you are bound to receive a rich gift. We all know the quality of a King’s gift o! It’s not plastic souvenir o! There’s bound to be plenty of  gold, platinum, expensive silks and exotic fabrics, perfumes… you name it. Well, every-time I get dressed on Sunday mornings, I’m mostly excited about the rich gifts and blessings in Christ Jesus that’ll be mine at the end of the day. The thought alone is guaranteed to have my face lit up with a 100 mega-watt smile.

That was my state of mind when I sashayed into Church premises at 9.00a.m. Sunday morning. My eyes immediately lighted on a Star Trek looking contraption in-front of the auditorium’s entrance. Nah! I thought to myself and continued to the front desk to get my bulletin and offering envelopes.

While I smiled charmingly and exchanged pleasantries with the ushers, I took in the scene once more. Nah…! Now that I come down my cloud of euphoria of being in Church a bit, I noticed the akpu-obi (for lack of a better English word, because bodyguards just will not suffice) guys in suit positioned around the entrance and church premises. They were not smiling at all!

Haba! Was my guy GEJ worshipping with us today? What on earth…? Eyeing the Star Trek contraption again, I felt some disquiet.

“Can I go in through the side doors?” I questioned one of the ushers who was grinning at me, obviously amused at my discomfiture.

“Hnm! They  won’t allow you o!” Came his reply, while casting a quick look at ‘they’.

“See me see wahala.” I thought to myself, irritation finally claiming me.

Tentatively I approached the particularly forbidding akpu-obi guy in a suit standing behind the contraption. I beamed a smile. He glowered at me. A real case of ‘jamming brick wall.’

He gestured. I took a deep breath and came forward. Then put a foot through the narrow contraption, ducking my head, even though it was several inches higher. And my other feet followed the first. I held my breath and didn’t have to wait at all.

The thing shrieked like a banshee and several heads turned in my direction. Yes o! I had all the accessories in the world on. I was going to meet with my king nah!

A little mortified, a whole lot irritated, I made to hand my purse and Bible to Mr Akpu-obi guy whose face looked by now looked like ofe gbaruka (sour soup) when he shook his head and asked me to go through. I raised my brows. WT*! Just like that? So, what was the point?

Restraining myself from giving a long hiss, I walked into church. Immediately my good-humor was restored and I made for the staircase heading to the gallery where I hide out and worship God. The idea behind sitting at the gallery is that you don’t have to dance round the whole church when going to put in your offering or if you have a special offering to put in, you don’t have to walk the whole expanse of the aisle to put it into the offering box. Aside from that, you can weep, speak in tongues, kneel and just get your worship on the gallery without making a spectacle of yourself.

Anyhoo, I get to the staircase and meet some usher shaking his head and indicating a pew. Kai! I’m stuck downstairs. I take a seat and look to my right. I spot the former Minister of Foreign Affairs. I roll my eyes. Is that the reason for the extra security? My church is an old traditional church and we do have some Senators, a couple of Ministers, plenty of Honorables and politicians but I’d honestly attributed all the security to the recent bomb threats.

All through service I kept jumping out of my skin every-time the contraption shrieked, because trust us women in our Sunday best. By the end of service, my nerves were thoroughly jangled as I kept thinking of the possibility of bomb blasts or shooting given the amount of public servants in our congregation.

My long story leads me to ask one question – If we don’t feel safe in the House of God, in His very Presence, where can we possibly feel safe. Can all the security devices and agents be any good when your time comes?

I’ll leave you to ponder on that one because I can tell you I chewed on it for a long time and found it extremely funny in retrospect. Very funny…

On a different note, my birthday comes up at the end of the week, Friday actually.  The 22^nd. I should be excited, right? WRONG!!!

I foresee a very depressing week. It’s been a depressing month, truth be told. When did I get to this age? I’ll just call it age x! I don’t feel any different than I did at 21. Ok, maybe a little different. A whole lot stronger and a lot more jaded granted. I really can’t pin-point the moment when I lost my rose coloured glasses but it hasn’t been a bad ride down to this point, has it? I mean, I survived my rebellious years, went through a Nigerian University and obtained a certificate, then on to Law school, became a lawyer, survived some bad relationships and life altering events along the way so yippee, bring on another year!

Yep, that’s the song I’ve been singing to myself for the better part of the month but alas, as the day draws closer, my trepidation builds. Can someone please press rewind? I guess I’ve gotten to that age where women take their ages back two years – or five.

I know I’m beginning to sound like that saying about how we are neglectful about the things we have and desirous of the things we don’t have…or something along those lines but I really don’t seem to be able to snap out of it.

Anyways, to get my mind and emotions out of the rut over the weekend, I drew up a birthday wish-list hoping the little exercise will perk me up. I allowed my imagination run a little wild… *grimacing*. Ok, a whole lotta wild. The list comprises of the little and not so little things. It made me smile, so here goes. Smile with me…

2011 IMERCEDES CLS CLASS

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. This is a clear case of what my friend L recently explained to me as oloju kokoro. However on a more optimistic note, I could someday get that million dollar brief that would make the impossible possible. *sigh*

 

A BOTTLE OF KENZO JUNGLE

Aside for my love for elephants, there’s something about their stoicism that moves me if that makes any sense. And I believe they are good-luck, hence the mahogany center table in my living room and the miniature one I always carry around in my bag.

Okay enough of the yadda  yadda yadda. I love the heady, mysterious tones. Not too feminine or overpowering, just enough to let you know a sexy, strong woman was in your space.

A CHARLATAN T-SHIRT

Can I first of all say that I find the brand name ingenious? Charlatans by iamISIGO. The name was inspired by the fact that there's a little pretence in us all. (More on this label and the brain behind it coming soon). Ingenious! Secondly, they are plain gorgeous and really to die for. Thirdly, I luurv t-shirts. Someone get me a charlatan t-shirt – or two, pretty please.

Lurv!

A LEATHER MAN BAG

I spotted this ‘amazing’ leather man- bag - (It was perhaps more of a briefcase) at a recent visit Wuse market. It was made of croc-skin, complete with the scales at the back and the stitching was impressive. Pure de-luxe item and it cost a fortune, trust Wuse market. (I wonder if both the Arts & Crafts market I know will have a more pocket friendly version). Would be perfect for carrying my lap-top, hard drives and all those papers and files I swore I’d never carry as a 21^st century legal practitioner, while looking chic and professional at the same time.

I-PAD 2

After being dissuaded from getting an I-pad 1 when it came out, I find myself obsessing about the latest version. Aside from saving me some energy from logging around my lap-top and also saving me the acquisition of an eye wrinkle or two from squinting at my blackberry, I think it would be pretty neat to do some constructive work on the go.

A CANON CAMERA

I used to roll my eyes when I saw bloggers with high powered cameras around their necks zooming in for shots. Yes, I was one of those bad-belle people that would snicker and mutter, ‘notice me!’

Picture T.Y. Bello running around GEJ’s motorcade at the inauguration ceremony. With what closely resembles a telescope around her neck.  Now, I know she is no blogger and  nope, I’m not that ignorant. That piece of equipment probably cost a tidy sum, never mind that she made tons of money from that job, but I digress.

Bottom-line, camera around the neck taking shots inspires a not very flattering image in my mind.

That being said, I now understand the importance of cameras. How can you effectively tell a story without pictures? They say pictures say more than a million words. I came across this baby on the internet and fell in-love.

Cue R.Kelly’s I wish, I wish, I wish.

APAIR OF FOOT CANDY

Where all fails, this is guaranteed to put a smile on my face. Yes, I’m an obsessive shoe collector and I do get over depression by going shoe shopping. I’m a bit obsessed with footwear. This obsession has progressed to collecting pictures of shoes, the crazier the better. (I shall share my picture collection of shoes soon). Anyhoos, I’d like to be indulged with a mad pair of shoes come 22^nd of July.

Mad about these.

Has day-dreaming about my birthday wishlist gotten my mood out of the dumps??? Ask me after Friday. It's going to be a looong week. TGIM!

Let's gooo!

xxx

Isi-Aki.